this is what it sounds like
Oh- my Pocahontis[sic]-your[sic] a wonderful person who is incedibly [sic] funny I Love you!
You were the only person who addressed me, yearbookily at least, as Jen. How ahead of your time you were! Perhaps that's what motivated me to drop the -ny the second I hit college. I remember which Jessie you are, but I cannot remember the reason for the Pocahontas reference. We met during 'Weird Romance,' and you had been involved in 'The Tempest' in some mild capacity where we didn't have much to do with each other. There were quite a bit of inside jokes that arose during 'Weird Romance,' none of which bore any sort of relevance to Native American life, colonist upheaval, forced religious conversion, interracial dating or historically inaccurate Disney movies. One of my friends here in New York is a direct descendant of Pocahontas, but that has nothing to do with you and me. Will you be at the reunion? Let's discuss this then, because it's gonna bug me.
In related news, I saw a guy on the subway this morning who was decked out in complete Urban-hip regalia: nylon head thing, diamondish earrings, white t-shirt, baggy Phat Pharm jeans. And braids. Like, two symmetrical braids. If his friends don't call him Pocahontas, I hope they call him Anne of Green Gansta, because that's just too wonderful to not comment on.